Nobody likes to think that their circumstances are out of their control. But this can be the way we feel sometimes in life, and the question is what do I do when I feel I cannot control my feelings? The first step is to recognize that what you are feeling are just feelings. Our feelings can get so overwhelming, that we find ourselves thinking things that are out of our character and personality. So much so that we feel trapped in our circumstances, and we feel there is no escape! As a Christian I know what it feels like to have the whole world fighting against me, there is widespread persecution right now throughout the world and if I could I would separate myself from my faith, if it would save my life.
When we have to face situations that are beyond our control, the first practical step is to give in fully to our experience of our emotions, and ask the Lord to change our circumstances in His time not ours. We are fighting a battle that takes place in our minds, and as a man/woman thinks in their heart, so are they. We feel that if we could change someone else's heart we will be happy as a result. But the opposite is true, the moment we try to change a person (against their will) we automatically loose a little bit of our own freedom. When our desire is to be free from our pain, some of us want to give up and quit, but this only leads to more suffering. What we resist persists, so the goal is not to be a doormat for other people to walk over us.
I want to give a Christian perspective on suffering because that is the theology that I currently am most familiar with. However, there is wisdom in other religions as well and throughout the year, I have been gleaning from wisdom in general. We can never live in this world totally free from suffering, and that leads me to the Buddhist perspective on suffering. What the Buddha talked about in regards to suffering was our reaction to the suffering that already exist in our lives. It's like a boil on your skin, you can treat it with medication, patiently wait for it to heal, or you can scratch it and aggravate it so it will take twice as long to heal because you keep damaging it.
In the Christian perspective, suffering is only temporary. We believe in cause and effect, but not karma. In Christianity we believe in life and death, Heaven and Hell, and some of us believe in Purgatory. This life is somewhat like a kind of purgatory, or hell for some of us who feel hopeless, but we should never feel like our lives are beyond the redemption of a God who loves us. When we don't know what to do the best thing to do is nothing untill our minds are clear enough to see the dangers and possibly the eternal and temporal consequences of our choices we make as a result of an emotional choice. I am not saying that we should never make a choice based on our emotions, but if you can wait untill that emotion changes into something that will give life, not produce death?
This is the trick, not to deny our emotions, but to have them let them have their full experience. Never acting out of a negative emotion like anger. The battle is in your mind, or should I say the battle for your mind can be won, if you make the effort. Our perceived reactions to being treated like we are worthless or have no value can be quickly remedied by changing our perception of our lived experience, and persevering through our trials. When we do this, surely we will open the door to more suffering, because suffering is endless for the mind that has lost it's peace. So you need to find a way to calm your heart, and realise that there are benevolent forces some like to call God, and that person is waiting to help you and give you a way to escape the suffering you are going through right now.
Let me quote from the bible on this topic; Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters,a whenever you face trials of many kinds, 3because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. 4Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. 5If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you. 6But when you ask, you must believe and not doubt, because the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. 7That person should not expect to receive anything from the Lord. 8Such a person is double-minded and unstable in all they do. (James 1:2-8 NIV) Also; Blessed is the one who perseveres under trial because, having stood the test, that person will receive the crown of life that the Lord has promised to those who love him. (James 1:12 NIV.)
So when you feel helpless, just remember that song by Alanis Morissette, Well, life has a funny way of sneaking up on you. And life has a funny funny way of helping you out
Helping you out.
When we have to face situations that are beyond our control, the first practical step is to give in fully to our experience of our emotions, and ask the Lord to change our circumstances in His time not ours. We are fighting a battle that takes place in our minds, and as a man/woman thinks in their heart, so are they. We feel that if we could change someone else's heart we will be happy as a result. But the opposite is true, the moment we try to change a person (against their will) we automatically loose a little bit of our own freedom. When our desire is to be free from our pain, some of us want to give up and quit, but this only leads to more suffering. What we resist persists, so the goal is not to be a doormat for other people to walk over us.
I want to give a Christian perspective on suffering because that is the theology that I currently am most familiar with. However, there is wisdom in other religions as well and throughout the year, I have been gleaning from wisdom in general. We can never live in this world totally free from suffering, and that leads me to the Buddhist perspective on suffering. What the Buddha talked about in regards to suffering was our reaction to the suffering that already exist in our lives. It's like a boil on your skin, you can treat it with medication, patiently wait for it to heal, or you can scratch it and aggravate it so it will take twice as long to heal because you keep damaging it.
In the Christian perspective, suffering is only temporary. We believe in cause and effect, but not karma. In Christianity we believe in life and death, Heaven and Hell, and some of us believe in Purgatory. This life is somewhat like a kind of purgatory, or hell for some of us who feel hopeless, but we should never feel like our lives are beyond the redemption of a God who loves us. When we don't know what to do the best thing to do is nothing untill our minds are clear enough to see the dangers and possibly the eternal and temporal consequences of our choices we make as a result of an emotional choice. I am not saying that we should never make a choice based on our emotions, but if you can wait untill that emotion changes into something that will give life, not produce death?
This is the trick, not to deny our emotions, but to have them let them have their full experience. Never acting out of a negative emotion like anger. The battle is in your mind, or should I say the battle for your mind can be won, if you make the effort. Our perceived reactions to being treated like we are worthless or have no value can be quickly remedied by changing our perception of our lived experience, and persevering through our trials. When we do this, surely we will open the door to more suffering, because suffering is endless for the mind that has lost it's peace. So you need to find a way to calm your heart, and realise that there are benevolent forces some like to call God, and that person is waiting to help you and give you a way to escape the suffering you are going through right now.
Let me quote from the bible on this topic; Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters,a whenever you face trials of many kinds, 3because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. 4Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. 5If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you. 6But when you ask, you must believe and not doubt, because the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. 7That person should not expect to receive anything from the Lord. 8Such a person is double-minded and unstable in all they do. (James 1:2-8 NIV) Also; Blessed is the one who perseveres under trial because, having stood the test, that person will receive the crown of life that the Lord has promised to those who love him. (James 1:12 NIV.)
So when you feel helpless, just remember that song by Alanis Morissette, Well, life has a funny way of sneaking up on you. And life has a funny funny way of helping you out
Helping you out.
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