The Psychology of Acceptance and Attachment.
When things don't go our way, we work very hard to try to make them work our way. We sometimes can feel a deficit in our sense of self-worth, so we then begin at working very hard to be pleasing to ourselves and our families. When something goes wrong, we internalize it as negative self-worth, which in turn makes us feel that we look bad to other people. So we attempt to kill off the things in our lives that we feel created the deficiency thus propelling an immediate sense of self-worth, and because we temporarily eliminated the weaknesses that were making us feel powerless, we feel stronger. The problem with eliminating our deficit is that when we need a sense of self-assurance, it is no longer their? Why? Because the things that were making us feel powerless were giving us the strength to create a new sense of well being and self-worth and acceptance.
When we seek out people to give us a real sense of security and self-worth, we are creating an unhealthy dependence on our own inner strength to solve problems. Without the help of other people, we wouldn't know how to solve certain things. Even though this is recognized as a weakness, it is actually a strength because sometimes we don't really know what is best for ourselves, unless we ask someone else. We don't want to eliminate this deficit because we would be loosing a greater sense of personal adaptability. Learning to adapt to new situations in life is a skill we need for survival, and by killing our weaknesses, we in fact eliminate the ability to solve new problems. Learning to accept ourselves and to be adaptable is the first step in learning to be happy.
Being attached to anything can lead to feelings of sorrow when we miss or lose the things we were attached to, but this can be a good thing. There is positive reinforcement or attachment that can contribute to our peace of mind, and it can build self-confidence and self-control, especially in situations that are out of our control. When we see that at the heart of this kind of insecurity lies the inability to accept ourselves, and our situation or our attachments, our own weaknesses will turn into strength, only under certain conditions. We must remain unattached to that which we feel a 100% need in order to feel accepted, and then learn to accept all things as they are and as they come. This is a skill that we instinctively knew as children. Children are for the most part more adaptable than adults, and adults need to know that they will be accepted by someone, despite their own life insecurities. Instead of 'killing off' any and every weakness that we feel doesn't fit our current life situation, we need instead to foster a sense of adaptability and caring for ourselves and others, that would naturally fall into the categories of love, and forgiveness and compassion. This is Mike.
When things don't go our way, we work very hard to try to make them work our way. We sometimes can feel a deficit in our sense of self-worth, so we then begin at working very hard to be pleasing to ourselves and our families. When something goes wrong, we internalize it as negative self-worth, which in turn makes us feel that we look bad to other people. So we attempt to kill off the things in our lives that we feel created the deficiency thus propelling an immediate sense of self-worth, and because we temporarily eliminated the weaknesses that were making us feel powerless, we feel stronger. The problem with eliminating our deficit is that when we need a sense of self-assurance, it is no longer their? Why? Because the things that were making us feel powerless were giving us the strength to create a new sense of well being and self-worth and acceptance.
When we seek out people to give us a real sense of security and self-worth, we are creating an unhealthy dependence on our own inner strength to solve problems. Without the help of other people, we wouldn't know how to solve certain things. Even though this is recognized as a weakness, it is actually a strength because sometimes we don't really know what is best for ourselves, unless we ask someone else. We don't want to eliminate this deficit because we would be loosing a greater sense of personal adaptability. Learning to adapt to new situations in life is a skill we need for survival, and by killing our weaknesses, we in fact eliminate the ability to solve new problems. Learning to accept ourselves and to be adaptable is the first step in learning to be happy.
Being attached to anything can lead to feelings of sorrow when we miss or lose the things we were attached to, but this can be a good thing. There is positive reinforcement or attachment that can contribute to our peace of mind, and it can build self-confidence and self-control, especially in situations that are out of our control. When we see that at the heart of this kind of insecurity lies the inability to accept ourselves, and our situation or our attachments, our own weaknesses will turn into strength, only under certain conditions. We must remain unattached to that which we feel a 100% need in order to feel accepted, and then learn to accept all things as they are and as they come. This is a skill that we instinctively knew as children. Children are for the most part more adaptable than adults, and adults need to know that they will be accepted by someone, despite their own life insecurities. Instead of 'killing off' any and every weakness that we feel doesn't fit our current life situation, we need instead to foster a sense of adaptability and caring for ourselves and others, that would naturally fall into the categories of love, and forgiveness and compassion. This is Mike.
Comments
Post a Comment