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Do you Belong to an Abusive Church?

I have given myself liberty, in the hopes of bringing awareness to something that I sensed was a problem for quite some time. On October 4th of this year I was accused informally of causing division in the church I attended, Harvest Bible Chapel York Region, in Markham Ontario, Canada. I say informally because I was asked in an email by their executive Pastor George Stavropoulos to meet with him, as he explained it he wanted to give me a chance to defend myself in the event that I was wrongfully accused. I explained to him that if I was wrongfully accused the elders in this church have enough wisdom, and are capable of working out the situation. You see, I had posted something on Facebook that didn't line up with what one of the elders thought was against church doctrine.

In a private Facebook message this elder pointed out that there was a problem, but he never explained what that problem was, he just quoted Romans 16:17-18. This is what the message reads:
"There is a problem, will explain when I see you. Romans 16:17-18 There is no new science of happiness.
going to small group now Brother"

According to this elder, it is the new science of happiness that the church feels it has to take a stance on, that being mindfulness. I have really been struggling with this, because the words that make me feel uncomfortable are "There is no new science of happiness." I don't think that this elder was speaking out of ignorance, I believe he believes in the existence of this mindfulness science, but what I have really been struggling with is why it doesn't line up with the teachings of the church? I don't think that this church particularly has a problem with science, what I do know is that they have a big problem with science taking the place of God in our society, but I don't think this is a held doctrine.

The very fact that I have to play the guessing game, when it comes to church doctrine makes me think and feel that the explanation of his accusation against me is more obvious than I think it is. I had been attending this church for six years, and out of those six years I believe I missed church two or three times, so I learned a lot about the bible. Even now I want to pick up their doctrinal statement and scan it for an answer, but I don't think they mention anything about mindfulness in it. If you look at his accusation, he is denying the existence of this science of happiness. Clearly he has in his mind a clear reason and conviction as to why he thinks it doesn't exist? Some people think that God doesn't exist and some people believe in the existence of God. We both believe in God's existence, but we clearly don't believe in mindfulness as a science. To claim that something doesn't exist means there is a reason why you don't believe in it. This is what is missing from his accusation of division against me.

I can speculate without knowing what doctrine defends the church against mindfulness, and there are many obvious reason that anyone can find on the internet, but I think that there is another answer. Could it be that I already know why I was accused of division, and Dave wants to use scripture against me to change my behaviour, in this case to stop meditating? This would be the obvious answer. If you cannot find a reason as to why you were accused, the you being me, then maybe there is a behavioural aspect involved in this. Maybe Dave and George already know about mindfulness, that it's roots are in Buddhism, and instead of telling me this from the beginning (which would of been the right thing to do) they want to be spiritually abusive by changing my belief and behaviour in regards to mindfulness, before telling what they think is wrong with it. That's just a guess, but I might be right.    


In a spiritually abusive church the leaders will use coercion and psychological manipulation to change the persons behaviour, instead of following the example taught by the leaders in the early church to follow them by their example. By leading the flock this way, through spiritually abusive techniques they can ensure uniformity rather than unity. By not telling the accused why they are causing conflict, they can ensure that the rest of the flock isn't infected in their behaviour to use the bible the way the bible was meant to be used. This dialectic form of therapy/discipleship in our churches is called humanistic psychology, and they will try to get you to prove that they are right and you are in error to the very death. What they will call your "spiritual death from the church" is really their attempt to control and change the behaviour through psychology rather from the heart, through the bible. The rest of the flock is in ignorance, because so and so is such a great Christian, how could they fall the way they did? In order to insure safety and accountability in the flock they must weed out anyone who has caught on, or who won't change their behaviour to be like everyone else (Uniformity), because it threatens the life of that church, because they are using the bible psychologically not biblically.

In most spiritually abusive churches there will be an atmosphere that is tense. You will feel like if you make one mistake you will be cast out of the church. They use group manipulation on Sunday, not to teach the bible, but to indoctrinate the congregants for their cell groups during the week. These cell groups reinforce right behaviour with in that denomination, and it is a form of manipulation by the leaders. They are made to think that truth can only be found in their churches, and if anyone leaves they will loose their soul. They develop an unhealthy dependence on the church and it's leaders to the point that it becomes very hard to think for themselves. Every time the leadership is challenged the person in question must be made an example to the rest of the flock, that that kind of behaviour isn't tolerated  here. The reason why they will fight you to the death is because the very life and existence of their church depends on this behavioural method of changing people through psychology and manipulation.

As much as they say they know the bible, and in my case how the practice of meditation must be rooted out, they are not treating you as the Lord's true ministers would. These abusive churches are trained similar to how some cults are trained to convert people, to get you to change or to get out of their church. So really to them doctrine is a small thing. The main thing is conformity at any cost, why? Because they love their church more than they love you, and this is clearly unbiblical. To finish, listen to the words of the apostle Paul and as an elder and apostle, his love for the church; (Philippians 1:8) For God is my witness, how I long for you all with the affection of Christ Jesus.

As you know, Jesus gave up his live for the church (1 John 3:16 NIV) This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers and sisters.
 
At the time of writing these harsh words I was still confused about Christianity and mindfulness meditation. 

Mindfulness meditation is a spiritual ‘form’ of focused concentration which can be used as a spiritual exercise or for secular reasons that is not a part of church theology. As a result I would advise any Christian to stay away from it.


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