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On growing old.

Last year I celebrated my 40th birthday this November I will be turning 41. It pretty much seems just like yesterday when I was living with a bunch of guys in a house in Peterborough Ontario and attending Trent University. I had just come out of a rocky relationship, Rocky for me because I couldn't understand why the person didn't want to have a relationship anymore but despite that I still remain friends with that person however my life journey had begun to take place kind of like a train going one direction without any stops in between it. I enjoyed waking up early mornings and taking the bus to Trent University. Even though it was pretty much alone, I did meet a couple of friends that I knew from Toronto but I was working for Greenpeace there. University life was not suited for me I came to that conclusion when I was required to write my first essay.

I don't remember the topic on which I had to write but I'm pretty sure it was for my native studies class I was studying environmental studies at Trent University. I started to plunk and pluck away at my keyboard on my computer not even comprehending what structure I should be writing in. That's when the big O came and I had to kind of figure out on my own the best way to proceed with this homework assignment. I went into the admissions office at Trent University and told them that I needed a book which explain to me how to write a university essay. When I brought the book home where they actually gave to me I couldn't understand still the structure in which I was to write this essay. It's kind of funny looking back now but that's the real reason why I didn't pursue a university career! At this point I just decided not to go to my classes anymore a mistake that I had previously made when I was at Sheridan College.

But being an adult of course I had to make some pretty hard life decisions at this point. My decision was to leave school and to go to California possibly to join a Hindu monastery. Where school failed spirituality took its place, and I got along pretty well in California until I realize that I had some student loans that I had to pay off, so back home it was! I don't regret my decision going to Trent University I did learn something's while I was there even if it might've been for only a couple of months. What I do regret is the people that I left behind there although I never really made any friends that went with me to the university they were friends that I met in the town of Peterborough who I sort of miss right now. Although with things like social media it should be easy to find certain people but a lot of time has passed by and I think those kinds of friends or the friends that they were has changed. I changed.

If I was to sum up my life turning 41 this year I would say that 40 was a turning point in my life I finally realize that I didn't have to struggle with certain things as much as I struggle with them in the past. But 41 remains a? In my mind I know there are many dreams that I still have that aren't filled, but life in time have been kind to me throughout the years and although 41 may be a? Right now I know that I will have peace of mind and that I will surely find more people to share my life with.  More friends. I'm not a prophet or the son of a prophet so I will leave the speculation for a later date all I can say now is that my life is relatively blessed and for that I am thankful.

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