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When up is Down.

I've been feeling really tired lately, maybe because of lack of proper sleep or maybe because I've let the cares of this world bring me to my feet, and not to my knees. When a perceived or real injustice has been done to us the first thing I want to do is to fight. I think that some of us feel that way at times when we are promised something and it doesn't come to pass, we feel a sense of hurt, injustice, a loss of security, fear and anger. These are all natural emotions that I am all too familiar with on a daily basis, and I don't think with can live our lives without feeling one of them some of the time. The problem comes when we let these deadly emotions linger in our mind to the point where we are almost acting out of these emotions. Then you have some explaining to do. I don't think I am there yet.
 In fact God did a work in me when I turned 30. My 20's were filled with anxiety and frustration at almost everything and everyone, especially myself. I was mad at myself for making choices that left me feeling alone and hopeless and I felt like I was at the bottom of a pit that thankfully had a ladder, but I needed to climb out. The problem was I needed help. I suffer with depression, and after reading several Christian books, feeling a lot of pain,(emotional healing and spiritual healing), I was able to stop hurting other people and begin healing myself through God's grace and prayer.
 He (God) took me to some far out places in my own backyard so to speak, where I was able to be very alone but he was careful not to leave me there, and always put people strategically along my path, to build me up and pray for me. He used pastors, doctors, parents and brothers to help me see things about myself that I was not willing to face. I was healed.
 Still what lies in the background of all this is my present choices and an invitation to help others heal, if they want it. I look at life as my ministry, and every day I meet and pray for people who I really don't know whether they like it or not. Will I ever stop? I think there will be an end to this life, and when I reach the beginning I want to say, "Thanks for the journey, it was swell!"

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