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When the world began.

It was a cold December morning, it could of been January, and I had just came back from the skating rink. One of my favourite songs was on the TV, "I'm like a bird" by Nelly Furtato. We were living in a rented house with no escape for the future. I was stuck in my room and like that song goes "I don't know where my soul is" was my anthem at that time. Although I knew that God was bringing me through something, I didn't know him intimately. I was stuck in time, with dreams unfulfilled and the hope that someday God would bring me through the mess that I had made my own.

I tried to escape one time, but it brought me face to face with my past and I was not ready to accept the things that God was wanting to do in my life. He was with me, but I was not with him. I still wanted it my way, and he wanted me to know that. Then life happened. Without warning for the second time in my life we were moving and I put up a fight that will go down in the history books. I was a dead man where I was and if I stayed there, I might have ended up happy but never fulfilling the purpose that God had planned for my life. So the great Master saw through my pain, and knowing what was ahead for me, placed me in a home, and still I fight. Is it because I want to be God? Is it because I want to be rich? Or is it because I think I know how to live my life on level one of Christian obedience, never sacrificing, demanding my share like the prodigal son, I want Heaven now and Christ says "occupy until  come." We take that to mean " conquer until I win."

My resolution for 2013 is to be more human. With that comes all the things that we all want and are scared to ask for. My prayer for this year is that I find myself again, not in something that will glorify myself, but that I become more human. Lord you know my heart and those who seek to destroy this world, keep me from myself and the fear that will make me less human. In Jesus Name.

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