On Long-Term Illness.

On Long-Term Illness.

First I want to say that I was born in Canada and I was born a Canadian citizen. For 25 years in my life I was healthy, and never knew what it was like to live with a long-term illness. When I was 25, euthanasia wasn't allowed in my country. It was a shock to receive a diagnosis for a long-term but not terminal illness. The nature of my disability limits my ability to live like the rest of society, but I don't identify with my illness. I am a free person, and what my disability limits me I have no limits in my mind. At first I couldn't see a future for myself, and because part of my illness involves a depression, thoughts of ending my life or giving up hope is never a realistic option for me.

I have always been a person of faith, and my faith has stayed with me as a disabled Canadian citizen. I can see how some people want their pain to end, but in moments when I feel that I can't climb the mountain of my disability, I am always reminded that miracles happen. I believe in the supernatural and I believe in miracles because my belief and faith structure tells me this. Because of my faith, even when I feel there is no hope, I persevere. I believe one day there will be a resurrection and a healing from all illness, when I go to Heaven.

I don't want to make my stay here short by ending my life, even when doctors cannot heal me. My illness isn't fatal and no matter how much pain I have to endure as a result of being disabled, my faith is never disabled. God is always real to me. There is so much conflict in the world right now, but those who are angry with one another really don't know what it is like to loose your health. Health is so important to me, but what is more important than being healed from my illness is going to Heaven, not now, but in God's time. Look at it this way please, if this life were all that there is, then all the injustices that have happened throughout history would have been in vain. This is not the kind of God I believe in.

The question of suffering can be redemptive, but to truly make my own suffering redemptive, I have to continue believing in God and in Heaven. This is not hard for me because when you feel like you have lost everything there is a surrender to faith and hope, that if I were not sick, would make it terribly hard to accept. This is Mike.

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