My Experience at a Non-Denominational Church.

My Experience at a Non-Denominational Church.

I got into a bit of trouble for my practise of mindfulness meditation. It made me feel like a hypocrite. It made me doubt my salvation and it forced me to alienate myself from that church and it's people. It made me feel that I was a bad person and unforgiven. There are many things that people do wrong, but as a Christian in this kind of a church, my entire life was on display 24/7. I was held accountable before this sin came out, and because of my pressure to conform to the ways of the world, I enjoyed this kind of small group accountability. But this sin of meditation didn't come out in a small group setting, it came out online on Facebook in public.

As a result I experienced emotional trauma for 3 years and ongoing, and a greater isolation from the other concerned people in my life. They and I didn't understand why I didn't attend this church anymore. I also lost my desire to serve the Lord, which I had been doing with fervour, and because of this I became a consumer Christian. Although I still believe in God, I find now that I really have to struggle to sense God's grace and Presence in my life. I ended up not resenting my friends there, and stayed in touch with a few of them, which proved to become one of my greatest comforts.

What I found is that there was no room for mistakes in my Christian life, but there was room for sin mistakes that were acceptable or common to this church. All I could think about since my sin was revealed was a sense of personal shame and or regret. I have not had the ability to move on with my life because my sin is still a sense of comfort and awakening to me. I'm not trying to be purposefully disobedient but I do want to worship God with my full heart, and I use meditation/contemplation to do this.

I don't like to think of myself as being a sinner or unsaved or out of fellowship with God, because I already have a cognitive disability, which makes my life already difficult. My sin was actually helping my disability, which the church couldn't recognize because to them, they would be out of fellowship with God, and with their church. This is Mike. I am writing this in a blog to bring a greater clarity and healing to my present situation in life, which is a feeling that I am l stuck and anxious and can't move on or let go.

At the time of writing this I was still confused about mindfulness meditation and the church. Mindfulness meditation is a spiritual ‘form’ of focused concentration which can be used as a spiritual exercise or for secular reasons that is not a part of church theology. Therefore I would caution any Christian from using it.

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