Fighting to be Heard.

Fighting to be Heard.

There are many times in our lives when we feel that others aren't listening to us. As a child I always felt that I had to always make the effort to be heard. It's not that I was somehow unruly, I was a quiet child and I was shy and didn't know how to express myself properly. Among people I trusted, I could be fun and makes jokes, but I always had a hard time with new people in my life. I would eventually win over their trust somehow, but I always struggled inwardly with myself to really communicate what I was actually feeling.

I wasn't a troubled child, I had people who loved me and provided for my needs. I would celebrate birthdays with joy. I always joked with family members about how many girlfriends I had, but in my mind it was real. I had a good childhood, and into adolescence my life was still easy and fun. I considered myself a serious child, I took things seriously and I always believed in God. I wasn't evangelical but Catholic, I wasn't trained as some Catholic children are, but somehow with the teaching I did get, it became a part of my personality. I understood at a young age the purpose for Christ dying on the cross for me, and as a child I liked church. I could feel God's presence all the time at mass.

Growing up wasn't too difficult for me, until I became a born again Christian. Around that time I needed to learn to be alone, because it was being alone that my relationship with God was fostered. I was never truly alone, there were always people around me. I still had a hard time relating to people in my 20's, but I eventually found a peace that no one could take from me. Silence was my way of communicating things that words couldn't say, and writing things down only came from my struggle with depression. To a certain degree, I still have a hard time communicating certain things to certain people, but somehow through the years I was taught better communication skills.

I believe that if we allow ourselves the freedom to be who God wants us to be, we might discover that freedom will bring us happiness. God wants us to be ourselves pure and simple. God doesn't want us pretending to like something when in fact we hate it. He wants us to become childlike in our trust, and not bullies. Some think God is a bully because he allows suffering in the world, but I believe that suffering has a purpose. This is Mike.

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