I actually stumbled across the practice of mindfulness one day, after coming across a podcast on iTunes called "The New Psychology of Depression." It was like a second awakening for me as I discovered the book "The Mindful Way through Depression." The practice of MBCT (Mindfulness based Cognitive Therapy) became something I wanted to explore personally, which I did on my own. Mindfulness literally brought me back from the meditation grave which died with me back in 1999 after being diagnosed with clinical depression. Clinical depression is something that is very serious, and I have been living with this for 18 years. With no cure, or healing in sight, what I did know was that before my diagnoses I loved to meditate. When I became depressed, I lost the ability to have a constantly calm mind, and it was frustrating that I couldn't meditate.
My attempts to find God again, were attempts to rediscover a peace that I once knew all too well. That I felt was still a part of me that I didn't know how to tap into again. In 2007, I was baptized as a Pentecostal and it made me very happy. During this time though I was suffering from severe anxiety, and felt very alone in the world. I desperately wanted to connect with people I was attending church with in Markham, The Bridge Pentecostal Church, but my anxiety was pulling me into isolation a isolation that I couldn't break free from.
The Canadian Mental health Association was helpful at this point, and as a reluctant client, they help me break out of my isolation through a program called the ACT Team. I literally had and still have a team of social workers, and a psychiatrist helping me to stay off the streets and integrated into society. One thing the Bridge was offering was "small group" bible study. I remember receiving a phone call from a church member who was in charge of co-coordinating these groups, and after hearing about the dialectical process being used in these groups, I aggressively told her basically never ask me to join one of your "Life Groups" again. It wasn't too long, if I remember, that I stopped attending the Bridge. I didn't want to leave, but I felt I needed to be in a church that focused more on studying the bible, rather than what seemed like just talking about it.
There were some life changing lessons I learned at my Pentecostal Church. Lessons like "Love yourself, because we love you!" "Your not weird, we all have a bit of weirdness in us!" That might sound strange, but there was a sermon where we were interacting briefly with each other during the sermon, and this church made me feel accepted, and they helped me accept myself (with my illness.) I will forever cherish the attitude these brothers and sisters in the Lord had to the lost and hurting world,.The Bridge in Markham is an accepting church. I didn't find any hypocrisy there only caring, loving, compassionate friends in the Lord, and for that I will be forever grateful!
I ended up a stones throw away at the Markham branch of the Salvation army's church. My life was changing, as I was really becoming more desperate for a christian friend. I needed someone to confide in, as my own personal life was becoming more frightening because of my illness. Salvation army church closed it's doors for good in Markham, (I can't remember the exact date) but I remember feeling numb, after my "friend" who was in the the Pastor's position announced it. I ended up at Harvest Bible Chapel York Region, and at this point my desire for christian friendship was fulfilled as I willingly joined the church, and a "small group." I believe I was there for 6 years (2010-2016) and because they discovered I practiced "mindfulness meditation" I was informally accused of dividing the church.
This issue with Harvest hasn't been resolved yet, and I am praying that it will. I have met many people in the mental health community who are Christians and non-Christians, and who practice mindfulness. This journey has even taken me to seek council from the chaplain at my local hospital, because I couldn't see how being a committed christian and practicing meditation come into conflict? I am still working on finding the answers to this question, all I know is that being mindful helped me serve better at Harvest Bible Chapel, and is helping me be more at peace. Something I have been searching for (for years.) This is Mike.
My attempts to find God again, were attempts to rediscover a peace that I once knew all too well. That I felt was still a part of me that I didn't know how to tap into again. In 2007, I was baptized as a Pentecostal and it made me very happy. During this time though I was suffering from severe anxiety, and felt very alone in the world. I desperately wanted to connect with people I was attending church with in Markham, The Bridge Pentecostal Church, but my anxiety was pulling me into isolation a isolation that I couldn't break free from.
The Canadian Mental health Association was helpful at this point, and as a reluctant client, they help me break out of my isolation through a program called the ACT Team. I literally had and still have a team of social workers, and a psychiatrist helping me to stay off the streets and integrated into society. One thing the Bridge was offering was "small group" bible study. I remember receiving a phone call from a church member who was in charge of co-coordinating these groups, and after hearing about the dialectical process being used in these groups, I aggressively told her basically never ask me to join one of your "Life Groups" again. It wasn't too long, if I remember, that I stopped attending the Bridge. I didn't want to leave, but I felt I needed to be in a church that focused more on studying the bible, rather than what seemed like just talking about it.
There were some life changing lessons I learned at my Pentecostal Church. Lessons like "Love yourself, because we love you!" "Your not weird, we all have a bit of weirdness in us!" That might sound strange, but there was a sermon where we were interacting briefly with each other during the sermon, and this church made me feel accepted, and they helped me accept myself (with my illness.) I will forever cherish the attitude these brothers and sisters in the Lord had to the lost and hurting world,.The Bridge in Markham is an accepting church. I didn't find any hypocrisy there only caring, loving, compassionate friends in the Lord, and for that I will be forever grateful!
I ended up a stones throw away at the Markham branch of the Salvation army's church. My life was changing, as I was really becoming more desperate for a christian friend. I needed someone to confide in, as my own personal life was becoming more frightening because of my illness. Salvation army church closed it's doors for good in Markham, (I can't remember the exact date) but I remember feeling numb, after my "friend" who was in the the Pastor's position announced it. I ended up at Harvest Bible Chapel York Region, and at this point my desire for christian friendship was fulfilled as I willingly joined the church, and a "small group." I believe I was there for 6 years (2010-2016) and because they discovered I practiced "mindfulness meditation" I was informally accused of dividing the church.
This issue with Harvest hasn't been resolved yet, and I am praying that it will. I have met many people in the mental health community who are Christians and non-Christians, and who practice mindfulness. This journey has even taken me to seek council from the chaplain at my local hospital, because I couldn't see how being a committed christian and practicing meditation come into conflict? I am still working on finding the answers to this question, all I know is that being mindful helped me serve better at Harvest Bible Chapel, and is helping me be more at peace. Something I have been searching for (for years.) This is Mike.
At the time of writing this I still had a clouded understanding of mindfulness meditation.
Mindfulness meditation is a spiritual ‘form’ of focused concentration which can be used as a spiritual exercise or for secular reasons that is not a part of church theology. As this is true, I would advise any Christian to stay away from it.
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