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On my Story. Journaling.

I remember living in a house when I was at Trent University, and I remember sitting down one day trying to write a story. A friend of mine loaned me a book, and in the book it talked about someone who wanted to be a writer but just didn't know how to put his thoughts to paper. He talked about a spiritual experience and the ease of which writing came to him after this experience. I thought this was interesting because when I sat down to try to write something, I too couldn't put my thoughts to paper. Dave, a friend of mine was either writing a book or said he wanted to write a book and this was back in 1996. Not too shortly afterwards I booked a one way flight to California to learn how to meditate. It wasn't until 2016 that I got published in a Mental Health Recovery book, with my story of recovery.

The desire to write for me came from seeing political events later in life, and wanting to express my feelings and emotions. Social media actually helped me develop this gift, I would use Facebook to write notes, which I still do on occasion. Somehow learning about my lived experience with mental illness gave me the tools to put thoughts to paper, which in turn taught me that writing is just a form of self-expression. I was told that journaling through difficult times in our lives helps us to see more clearly what we are experiencing, and it also helps relieve difficult emotions we might be feeling at the time.

My journaling wasn't anything that you could publish, but while I was doing it and still do, I learned a life skill that would later help me become a published author for the CMHA York and South Simcoe. What I was unaware of and still unconscious of at the moment, was that my ability to write comes from what I am thinking. When I become aware of my though processes I can more easily put down on paper what I am feeling in my heart. The reason why this happened was because in the past before my mental illness, I was aware or in touch with the aspect of me that deeply felt things. It was my therapy that allowed me to see that I was a broken individual, in need of repair. Part of my healing process included journaling, and this gave me the freedom to not judge what I was writing and in turn my writing became a form of self-expression.

They say that this can be art, and I look at writing this way. It has to become less of an intellectual exercise and there needs to be more personal freedom. As a young man, I had personal freedom and I had many thought about writing as an art form. I don't want to fail to mention that I also believe that it is a gift. If I hadn't' gotten ill, I don't think this gift would be effective. I see things in my mind, and I write them down. This is Mike.

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