I wanted to become a Musician.

It all started when I was a little kid. We would visit our uncle's house and we would entertain them for hours. When I got into high school, I remember sitting in one night with all my friends and singing to them. What a comforting feeling that I got that I thought I had something inside me that could bless other people. So what changed? Nothing really. I had a thought that crossed my mind last night, "this vision is for an appointed time" meaning that my whole life, you know that feeling that I would be someone someday, that people would look up to my talent on a public scale, might not ever happen!! This vision is for an appointed time removes the self effort necessary to do what ever it is you have to do to make it as a singer. If God has put something in your heart, it is a desire for new creation. If you are or were a dancer, artist, musician this reflects the glory of God in a way that you might not ever have noticed. From the little kid coming home from school, to the adult taking art classes, it's like putting on glasses you don't see the creation until you create it.

I always wondered if there were things that stifled my creativity as an artist. The answer to that question is that any true artist or art is always reinventing himself/their selves. The definition of an artist, is not someone who has picked up a brush and created something, though that is something we do, art is a reflection of your personality. Anyone can create art, but not everyone is an artist. Do you have to be published or recognised? It helps but some of the greatest artists were not recognised until long after their deaths. But to be an artist now in the 21st century takes great endurance, because we live in a post enlightened world and frankly art is on the wholesale. We don't wake up in the morning and think of ways we can deconstruct our societies as some people do, deconstructing the very fabric of their time space existence. To be poor and talented these days is an oxymoron. The rich have taken it upon themselves to be the artistic entrepreneurs and have failed miserably because art comes from pain.

 Let me put it to you this way. If art belongs to the rich and not the poor, Hitler was the greatest artist that walked the face of the earth. Because if there was art in removing 6 million Jews from the face of the earth then there is an art in war that the simple an naive are just not seeing. And if there is not art on a thief dying on a cross, next to a donkey saviour then Carol "turn the lights off we are all going home" because art has died. But like the Resurrection of Christ art lives forever. There is art in just being alive, art in just existing. So long as 'the man' cannot take your soul and twist it into something you no longer recognise, you will be an artist. And should you have to compete to win the love of another man, art has no say in this. For in her being lies dormant the seeds that come to full fruition as we speak, that this is art, this is that, and yes the church has tried to define it and it has failed. It has tried to limit and censor art and artist, but God willing new inspiration will come in the face of her anguish and she will carry the torch for a whole new generation. The artist is living, she is poor and having sex with a stranger, the artist in her is being awakened to the art she is already creating.

Her life is art and in her death she will rest assured that those moments that still awake the artist in me will continue even after the walls of this house have tumbled down. She is an artist.