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The absent minded Jogger.

There were a lot of things I wanted to accomplish when I was a kid. I wanted to grow up and get  married, I wanted to raise a family, I wanted a good job and might have well of been famous. I don't think I consciously thought about these things all the time, but as I grew up and had a good job, something unexpected happened to me that changed the course of events in my life. Shall I say two things. The first one was I got dumped, I didn't so mind it at first but when I lost my faith in God because of it..I sort of seemed to care a little more. When I found a new faith in God I had thought that my life was back on track until some very weird things started happening inside of me. I found a new desire to live, to really live and to take my crushed dreams off the shelf and place them back in their proper place. But things were about to change in a few years.

I'm not going to say what faith I became, but I had faith to the point that I was even willing to live a life of celibacy for the rest of my life in an ashram (hint). When they realised that I guess I best serve humanity in the world they released me, in essence I was a free man. This faith lasted about from 1996-1999 when everything came crashing down once again, but this time it looked like I was going to stay down. I ended up not fulfilling the rest of my years on retreat in an ashram, but in the mental health unit of a hospital. Yes I finally went crazy. It was a good kind of crazy now, no more worrying about bills thanks to the government and their compassion for the mentally ill. I had lost it all, but I didn't have to worry about money or getting married anymore or even being a responsible human being for that matter, because I was now trash (to most people) mostly to my family and my dad. Yes, I heard the words spoken "What a waste." by one of my family members referring to my now mentally incapacitated state, and how I am now just the refuse. But hey, guess who I met? The Lord Jesus. No I didn't really meet him, it's more of a metaphor of saying the only person in this world who was rejected by the world and hung and died on a cross as a likened criminal was the only one who I could relate too. And in a very real way His presence became real in my life for the very first time.

I always thought I was going to Heaven when I died, I even had a true born again experience, but I never really knew the Lord as one can know him in this earthy life. I can say now that I am certifiably insane Jesus is more real to me than anyone else. This is not just a made up story it is real. You know all those ideas and verses in the bible where it talks about Jesus going to the outcasts in society, I am now one of them and Jesus metaphorically has come to me and said let me be your friend. If there is any advantage to being homeless or poor or blind or naked, it is that Jesus sees our shame and he runs to us in His way from Heaven and he covers us and he prepares a place for us when this life is over. Jesus, ya I know him.

Author's correction: My family was devastated because they wanted me to fulfil my dreams.

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