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When Life gives you Rotten Eggs.

Rotten eggs can make you sick, obviously, so I am using this as a metaphor for reasons why people check out on their hopes and dreams. As we all get older, some of us live with regrets, seeing the inevitability of our mortality we wonder if their is anything really worth living for? Obviously we all have reason to live our lives, but some of us have been through some really hard times and are now feeling the outcome emotionally. The danger for me is that I would get stuck, or loose my faith without anyone to pick me up from the ashes.

In the past, I have always had a kind person or a good friend to cheer me up, but I am finding that as I get older, most people have moved on to greater things in life and my attempts to change relationships, has only resulted in the fruit of bitterness within my own heart! I have never separated the thought that my faith or my religion is connected to my relationships, but trying to build relationships for me now is very hard. I am not saying that it is impossible, and the hope that I get from being in community with others, is satisfying! The deeper I go in my relationship with my peers, the more satisfied I feel in my relationship to God. I am not saying that people are my faith, but I think we need more genuine relationships in our lives, but unfortunately when we think we have found a group that we belong to, sometimes it may be the group for us, or sometimes that group can turn on us. We need discernment to see if what we are experiencing is a result of broken friendships, or is it something that can be easily mended?

One of the fruit of a real faith, is a deeper connection with other Christians. When we experience this it gives me a sense that there are real live people that are suffering just like I am. I can't be aware of this constantly, but during those times when I feel connected, I can meditate on the fact that my faith is somehow connected to my community. The bible does say that when one Christian suffers, we all suffer. Granted, there were times in my life when I didn't feel the presence of God, but something pulled me back, if not to the church, but into a relationship with God.

During my time away from the Catholic church, I discovered many things about myself and about my spirituality. I discovered that the God I wanted to believe in was a God that was holy. I wanted not just to have faith but to have an experience of faith. I wanted to hold on to something that was real in the mist of my life storms, and despite my experiences not being Orthodox, I was able to get in touch or reconnect with my faith, even if my faith was misdirected. I have learned some valuable lessons as a result.

1. God is not a Bully.
2. The word of God can be trusted.
3. It is important to have faith, and not just believe things blindly.
4. Children and adults makes mistakes.
5. God respects humanity.
6. There is no such things as a perfect faith.
7. God wants us to grow and experience things.
8. God always welcomes us home, no matter where we have been.
9. I am my harshest judge.

10. I am learning about faith.

This is Mike.

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