We are an interdependent people, and part of human flourishing is learning to make decisions for ourselves. But unfortunately some of us have grown to adulthood, and because of difficult life situations have developed an unhealthy dependence on others. I have been teaching myself through Christian material, just what codependency is. I have learned that the term came from the 70's and referred to someone living with someone else who had an alcohol addiction. I am not sure when this term came to be used with relationships, but this is the codependency that I want to talk about in this blog entry.
Relationships can be thrilling for those of us in life who are desperately trying to meet new people. The saying that old friends are the best friends, still holds true, because when we meet someone new we really don't know anything about their past. There are a lot of unanswered questions that we dwell upon and even stress out over, when we meet someone new. This is part of the thrill! Is this person really who they say they are? Or am I being deceived. Those of you who struggle with trust issues, or a lack of capacity to see the truth might have a really hard time trusting someone new for the very first time. I have been attending a community drop in recently, to take some courses to better my life, and at first there was a sense of immediate friendship that developed very quickly among those there. It reminded me of my church small group, where if you had a problem, the consensus in the group would be there to solve it for you, or just pick you up emotionally.
But like all problem solving groups, people divide and usually are drawn towards those they can relate the best to. But in a community where most people have very serious problems to solve, there can be infighting and division where there should be a sense of support. When people are down on their luck, or appear to be, like I said when meeting a new person who appears to be needy, you have to question the motives and the reality of that person because in the world we live in now, anything is possible!
The world can be a small place or it can be a big place, depending on your character and perception. When we see evil in our communities, the first question we might ask is "What is anyone doing about this problem?" A fair question that must be answered, because last I checked...if you do nothing, when you can do something you are really part of the problem and not part of the solution. But surely we can't eradicate all evil from the world you might say, and that is true, but there are ways we can bear silent witness in the face of evil. (I learned that from my days working as a Greenpeace Canvasser in the 1990's.) You might not be the kind of person who enjoys confrontation, but the confrontation that I am talking about is peaceful.
There are radicals in every area of life, but what we used to call radical then is even more radical now. The trick behind any successful movement is not how powerful you are, it's your truth. You don't have to be Christian to be pro-life, and you don't have to be Christian to care for this earth and the people living on it. All you need is a willing heart, and a sincere desire to care for the things that God has entrusted to us, if I may use the term God. You might have a different view and that is ok. People can really change the world. I have seen it happen, and we are living in a time right now where we desperately need people to carry the burdens that God has allowed to happen to His children. This is Mike.
Relationships can be thrilling for those of us in life who are desperately trying to meet new people. The saying that old friends are the best friends, still holds true, because when we meet someone new we really don't know anything about their past. There are a lot of unanswered questions that we dwell upon and even stress out over, when we meet someone new. This is part of the thrill! Is this person really who they say they are? Or am I being deceived. Those of you who struggle with trust issues, or a lack of capacity to see the truth might have a really hard time trusting someone new for the very first time. I have been attending a community drop in recently, to take some courses to better my life, and at first there was a sense of immediate friendship that developed very quickly among those there. It reminded me of my church small group, where if you had a problem, the consensus in the group would be there to solve it for you, or just pick you up emotionally.
But like all problem solving groups, people divide and usually are drawn towards those they can relate the best to. But in a community where most people have very serious problems to solve, there can be infighting and division where there should be a sense of support. When people are down on their luck, or appear to be, like I said when meeting a new person who appears to be needy, you have to question the motives and the reality of that person because in the world we live in now, anything is possible!
The world can be a small place or it can be a big place, depending on your character and perception. When we see evil in our communities, the first question we might ask is "What is anyone doing about this problem?" A fair question that must be answered, because last I checked...if you do nothing, when you can do something you are really part of the problem and not part of the solution. But surely we can't eradicate all evil from the world you might say, and that is true, but there are ways we can bear silent witness in the face of evil. (I learned that from my days working as a Greenpeace Canvasser in the 1990's.) You might not be the kind of person who enjoys confrontation, but the confrontation that I am talking about is peaceful.
There are radicals in every area of life, but what we used to call radical then is even more radical now. The trick behind any successful movement is not how powerful you are, it's your truth. You don't have to be Christian to be pro-life, and you don't have to be Christian to care for this earth and the people living on it. All you need is a willing heart, and a sincere desire to care for the things that God has entrusted to us, if I may use the term God. You might have a different view and that is ok. People can really change the world. I have seen it happen, and we are living in a time right now where we desperately need people to carry the burdens that God has allowed to happen to His children. This is Mike.
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